Some Times You Just Gotta Say WTF!

Bear, called me again today and told me the Navy is sending him to college. To be more clear they want him to be a Navy Phsycologists. Huh? I mean yeah I am super proud of him, I was proud of him when he joined the Navy during wartime and I was proud of him when they offered him a place in the Navy Seals, I was proud when he turned them down, then I was proud of him when they made him go work with them any way.

I really thought Bear's life long dream was to be a pastor. That is all he has talked about since he was in high school. Yep, his mom's a bit of a reprobate, but hey I still say my prayers and thank God every day for things that others would not even think of like a great parking space!

So yeah I was a little taken aback. We talked for a while about how to study and what classes he was going to take first and other things pertinent to college courses.

And then out of nowhere he began talking about an incident that happened when he was in sixth grade. Now, you would have had to know me when he was in school, I was very ill and most of the time I was hanging on by a thread. Bear was very perceptive and tried not to get me to upset so I would not get sicker. I thank my child every day for this.

Ok back to the story. I came home from lunch and somehow a bird got into our apartment. This little tiny baby bird was so scared it was flying around and flailing hitting the walls and we were so afraid it was going to hurt itself. Bear finally got it kinda cornered and jumped up underneath it and didn't realize there was a shelf there and split his head open from his eyebrow to his hairline. Now if your a mom you have most likely delt with a head wound and know it is one of the most frightening things to deal with. There is more blood from a head wound for the least amount of damage that it does than any other part of the body. I mean this thing was pulsing blood out in big squirts. Supermom kicks in and rushed him to the doctor and they took care of it and then when we got home I fell apart. Needless to say I did not go back to work that day but stayed at home with Bear to make sure he didn't show any signs of a concusion.

He told me during all of it he was worried most about the white coverlet on the bed under where he had jumped up and he was afraid he would get blood on it. It broke my heart. Was I such a monster that he felt that afraid when he hurt himself he felt I would be mad? I am anal abaout a clean house and everything has a place but I can be cluttery. I hope him and I can work through this and I hope he knows I love him in every way a mother can love a child.

So, Bear if you are reading this, YOU are and always have been the most important thing in my life and I will always be there for you in times of sadness and in times of joy!