Day before you leave

Today is the day I have dreaded all my life. The day you become a man. Not when you moved out of the house, or when you had your first girlfriend or even when you bought your first car.
You were the sweetest little thing when you were born. All round and chubby and topped with the sweetest black hair, that I begged your Nee Naw not to put in a curl right in the middle of your head.(Even though it was adorable, I knew you would hate it later when the girls saw your baby pictures.)

You had a hard time growin up, never knowing where you fit in. But from the age of 5 you knew you wanted to be in th military. One day it would be Navy, next the Marines and then I want Jets. Yes, you wanted to fly and be free like the time you jumped off the balcony into the bushes below.

You know I don't know how I made it through your childhood, well yes I do. It was all encompassing love. I loved you so much it didn't matter what happened. If I yelled at you we would always sit down later and talk it out.

I remember one time I slapped you and to this day when I think of it my heart aches and I can not tell you how sorry I am for that day.

It was funny because older adults would tell me they could have intelligent conversations with you and how smart you were. We all knew this is why you had so many problems with your peers. I just didn't know how to turn it around for you so it would work for you. And then on top of that I was always so sick. And you would take care of me. A child stayed with his Mom instead of friends because she was sick. Do you know how special you really are?

So, the day before you leave for Afghanastan, know that I love you, know that I will pray for you, and yes I will cry, but I will try to stand strong for you and when you come home I will be here to hug you and listen if you need an ear or just sit with you in silence.

I have your picture and a candle that will burn until you come home.

You are a good soldier and even a better man. Stay strong, faithful and serve your country.
Your Mom