So, it's the in thing now! Ya gotta blog! When I was a teen it was a pair of Levis 501 jeans and a slim line phone, with your own number in one of the popular colors. That put you in the "in" crowd! Pashaw!
I have some favorite blogs that have had me laughing so hard my sides were in stitches and my tear ducts were dry. Arid I say, Arid!
I used to be funny, way back before children and ex-husband that made me cranky and hateful. Or the one I hate more than anything else, even the c word, being "ugly"! If you want to tell me I am being "ugly" you are taking your life and putting it in my hands! Arrrrrrggggghhhhhh! Hell, I was even up for Goofiest Senior in high school. I was beat out by that witch that put out while telling a joke. They will win every time.
I'm serious I used to be fun to be around. I was always making people laugh. That ended the day I shot a 8lb 9oz baby through a hole the size of a golfball. This was, to my later chargin one of my last times being funny.
That was 25 years ago. John was born, we call him Bear to this day. Before that I was 36 23 34 respectively. After that I 42 35 39 dis respectively. I breastfed. Breastfed...now theres a word that doesn't really seem to mean what it says. Breast-thats easy those 2 things on the front of a woman that some men stare open mouthed at and don't even care if the spittle is dripping down thier chin. Fed-to feed. So to feed the breast, not in this case. More like breast defeeding. Thats what happened in my case. My perky breast went from a 36 to a 42 to back to a deflated 36. :0(
I had to laugh tho'. One time we were at Pizza Hut, (which btw was Bear's second word. I swear! We were in the car and went past a PH and he pointed and said, "Pizza Hut")and it always happens, Bear wanted to be fed. So I, pulled out the blanket from the diaper bag, while holding Bear with one arm, put the blanket over my shoulder, and while trying to balance Bear and hold my shoulder at a 90 degree angle so the blanket wouldn't fall, I try to release my breast out of the worse shirt I could have worn for breast feeding and finally get settled and then the Bear wraps his prescious little fingers around the blanket and pulls it down! And as every man drops thier pizza in thier lap and mothers are covering thier childrens eyes while simultanilously giving me the evil eye, I just simply smiled and got up an ran to the car boob flopping around and all. Hell, once your on that briiring table with it all hangin' out who cares what anyone see's!
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